"And a great windstorm arose and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he (Jesus) was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. And they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, "Who is this that even the wind and the sea obey him?" Mark 4:37-41 ESV
Have you still no faith... I so desperately wish that my reaction to this situation would be different than that of the disciples. I often find myself getting frustrated with the disciples or others when I read my Bible because they just didn't get it. You're with JESUS!! Seriously, get it together! Yet today as I was reading in Mark, this story, one which I've read a million times, stopped me in my tracks. I placed myself on that vulnerable and rickety boat, my lungs gasping in the salty air as waves invaded my inner sanctuary, my world being shaken to its core while Jesus slept, and I realized something. I would have reacted the exact same way. Have you still NO FAITH? No, I guess I don't.
I remember taking a class at Multnomah in which we did a semester on the book of Jonah. I knew the story, but I had never taken the time to really study it. Let me tell you, about three weeks in I decided that I had a substantial amount of disdain for him. I was actually angry with him. What was up with his running away from God, deciding his way was better and then yelling at God in the end because God was merciful when Jonah didn't think he should have been? Seriously Jonah?? Who do you think you are? But then week four came and it all clicked--regretfully I was Jonah. Have you still no faith?
Jonah experienced God speaking to him. Actually SPEAKING to him. Yet he ran. The disciples walked with Jesus. They lived life together. They claimed to know him. Yet in the moments of the storm they forgot who he was. Today as I was reading this I didn't get frustrated with them because I got it. No matter how time passes and no matter how God shows up in your life, we are all still human. We forget who God is and allow fear to overtake us. We decide that our way is better. We cry out in desperation, only to have God answer us, "Have you still no faith?"
One of my favorite things about God is that he doesn't change. Every box that I try to fit him in is shattered by who he really is. And when he asks me the question, "Have you still no faith?" I watch in awe as he rebukes the wind and the sea. I realize that at times I will panic in the midst of a storm, and there will probably be times when I won't be as impressed when he calms my storms. But today, in this moment, I feel relieved that the discples were scared because often times I am too, and I feel humbled to know that time after time Jesus will calm the seas and restore my faith in him.
