I got...

I got a tattoo. My mother was mortified, which I wasn't shocked about. I'd been thinking about it for about a year and on a somewhat thought out whim, which I understand is an oxymoron but still makes sense, I did it. I decided to get the word "unabashedly" because to me it represents the way that God loves me; no holding back, no resrvations, without fear.


On just as an exciting note, I also got a new camera. A nice camera. A Nikon DX 3000 to be exact and I L-O-V-E it! The pictures that it takes are amazing. Here is a sampling for your enjoyment!

Have you still no faith?

"And a great windstorm arose and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he (Jesus) was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. And they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, "Who is this that even the wind and the sea obey him?" Mark 4:37-41 ESV

Have you still no faith... I so desperately wish that my reaction to this situation would be different than that of the disciples. I often find myself getting frustrated with the disciples or others when I read my Bible because they just didn't get it. You're with JESUS!! Seriously, get it together! Yet today as I was reading in Mark, this story, one which I've read a million times, stopped me in my tracks. I placed myself on that vulnerable and rickety boat, my lungs gasping in the salty air as waves invaded my inner sanctuary, my world being shaken to its core while Jesus slept, and I realized something. I would have reacted the exact same way. Have you still NO FAITH? No, I guess I don't.

I remember taking a class at Multnomah in which we did a semester on the book of Jonah. I knew the story, but I had never taken the time to really study it. Let me tell you, about three weeks in I decided that I had a substantial amount of disdain for him. I was actually angry with him. What was up with his running away from God, deciding his way was better and then yelling at God in the end because God was merciful when Jonah didn't think he should have been? Seriously Jonah?? Who do you think you are? But then week four came and it all clicked--regretfully I was Jonah. Have you still no faith?

Jonah experienced God speaking to him. Actually SPEAKING to him. Yet he ran. The disciples walked with Jesus. They lived life together. They claimed to know him. Yet in the moments of the storm they forgot who he was. Today as I was reading this I didn't get frustrated with them because I got it. No matter how time passes and no matter how God shows up in your life, we are all still human. We forget who God is and allow fear to overtake us. We decide that our way is better. We cry out in desperation, only to have God answer us, "Have you still no faith?"

One of my favorite things about God is that he doesn't change. Every box that I try to fit him in is shattered by who he really is. And when he asks me the question, "Have you still no faith?" I watch in awe as he rebukes the wind and the sea. I realize that at times I will panic in the midst of a storm, and there will probably be times when I won't be as impressed when he calms my storms. But today, in this moment, I feel relieved that the discples were scared because often times I am too, and I feel humbled to know that time after time Jesus will calm the seas and restore my faith in him.

simply.beautiful

So seriously cute!!

I can't get over how CUTE Bekah is!! Granted she's got some great genes--I've been told on numerous occasions that she looks a ton like me. Lucky girl! :)Here is the latest picture that was so adorable I started to cry because I just want to see her SO incredibly bad. I love the little darling so much!!!!!

SS Crain

Today is the day that my dear friend Stacy Suzanne (Hill) Crain was born, 28 years ago. I am so very glad that her parents decided to procreate and she was the amazing result of that!

Stacy and I met about 14 years ago at cheerleading tryouts the spring before our freshman year of high school. I saw her and couldn't figure out why somebody's little sister was there. She was a tad on the tiny side! :) We ended up making the squad together, were in the same stunt group, were science partners and in choir together. We became dear friends, and that has continued on to today.

Stacy had her daughter Piper about three months before Claudia was born and it has been so much fun for us to do play dates together. We have been able to meet almost every week since the girls were about 3-6months and it has been a HUGE blessing for all of us. We were walking to the park with the kids just this last week and we looked at each other and wondered how we got there. Are we really carting around two kids each?? It seems like just yesterday we were freshman in high school, cheering together and causing a ruckus in Mr. Starr's science class.

Stacy, thank you for your friendship. Thank you for loving me no matter what and for always being there. Thank you for dropping what you're doing to be there for me when I need you. I don't know how many times I've called you in tears and you have been there, no questions asked. Knowing that I can come to you with anything is so relieving to me. Sometimes I wonder how we ended up as friends--we're so different! :) But I know that my life wouldn't be the same without you. You mean the world to me!! I hope that you have an amazing birthday. Know that you are dearly loved! Let's be friends until we're 98. :) (Of course if I'm still alive at 98, I give you full permission to shoot me. Who wants to be alive at 98??) Love you sister!!

Funny Girl

Claudia says the funniest things and I have been meaning to document them. I know that she's not mine, but I figure that these things are still important to jot down.

The other day I was peeling an orange and she asked if she could have some. I nodded and told her she could in a minute(I was peeling it for her). She got right up in my face, put her hands on my cheeks and said, "Becca, we share with our friends." Why yes indeed we do!

We went to go play at Piper's house the other day and the girls with rolling around on the floor together and Claudia was tickling Piper. The conversation went a little like this:
Claudia, "I need some water Piper."
Piper, "It's upstairs." (Which it totally wasn't-Claudia's cup was literally RIGHT next to her.)
Claudia: "Well then lets go upstairs!"
Piper ignores her.
Claudia (much more emphatically), "Piper, let' go upSTAIRS!"
Piper, "No Claudia, I'm too tired...(very dramatically). Will you carry me?"
Claudia, "No, I'm too tired too..."
Yeah, like Claudia could even begin to carry Piper up the stairs!! So funny.

The other weekend she sat across the table from her parents, at two separate times, and with her face cupped in her hands said, "Daddy/Mommy, we need to have a conversation."

She is a very determined child and doesn't like no for an answer. Our conversations often go like this:
Claudia, "I'm really hungry Becca."
Me, "We just had lunch so we aren't going to eat any more right now."
Claudia, "But yes I AM hungry."
Me, "I'm not saying that you're not hungry. I am saying that we aren't going to eat any more right now."
Claudia, "But yes I AM!" Tears usually follow.

The other night Ewan and Lauren got home about the same time. The house was a bit chaotic, what with the excitment of them being home and me trying to tell them about the day. Ewan let Holly out (the dog)and after about 30 seconds of her being out Claudia says, "We need to get Holly inside. She's barking up a storm."

There are so many more that I can't remember. She is such a funny kid and constantly makes me laugh. Now that she's caught on that she can be pretty funny, she'll say something and then go, "That was funny. I'm funny Becca." Yes my love, you sure are!

Blessed

My new found passion for blogging is already starting to slowly die...I knew that this would happen! Being alone with a dog for a week has left me without much to blog about. I guess my mind has been occupied with other things as well. (And just for the record, I am doing alright. I'm not fantastic but am not wallowing in grief every second either. For the first time this week I haven't cried today, so kudos to me.) I am excited for Claudia and Charlie to come home so that I can keep busy with work. I pick them up in a hour and can't wait to see them! So today, and most other days as well, I am thankful for them. And for Ewan and Lauren, who have produced the most adorable children ever and have been so wonderful in making me a part of their family. Despite my woes, I truly am blessed.

Majestic

Here I go with two posts in one day. I'm been trying to focus more on God's greatness and I wanted to share these pictures, which I think are a pretty fantastic representation of that.

A look-out point about fifteen minutes from my parents house. It has the most amazing view of Mt. Hood and you can see the river cutting through the valley.


The sunrise at Washington Family Ranch, taken this summer at YL camp.

Strength from above

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Repeated over and over and over....

Broken

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

I wish I knew the plans God has for me. Living blindly is hard. Making decisions that you know are right often times hurt. Right now I'm realizing both of these things and feel tragically broken...

Its official...

...a broken heart sucks.

Inspiration

Over Christmas break I watched "Julie and Julia" and got inspired. Not to cook, that would be a miracle, but to be more proactive in my blogging. I'm definitely not going to commit to blogging every day, but I would like to try to blog a few days a week. I'm sure that many of them will be short rather than long, but at least I'm trying! I would like to focus on things that I'm thankful for and this little love bug gets the first entry! I had so much fun with Bek over Christmas and am praying that they move here at some point so I can love on her all the time. :)