For those of you who don't know, I'm a pessimist. A pretty hard-core one. I remember the day I figured it out. My sister and I were in the kitchen and there was a cup of water on the counter. She asked me if the glass was half-full or half-empty; obviously the cup was half empty. Hence, the pessimism! (Thanks Jen. It didn't really help that you pointed at me and laughed!!) So, I'm cursed with constantly trying to fight the cloud. In all actuality, I like to say that I'm a realist. Not only does it sound better, which I'm all for, I think that it makes more sense. I don't walk around ready to kill myself because the whole world is going to pot, rather, I see the reality in all situations and don't get my hopes up. (It all makes perfect sense to me!) So anyway, lately I've been feeling really bogged down. It's really hard for me to not allow my circle of influence get swallowed by my circle of concern. I get really effected by people, their decisions and wanting to control things. I have a hard time when things are feeling out of control and I frantically try to do whatever I can to hold onto what I feel like I need to have a grasp of. These past couple of weeks have been especially hard for me feeling overwhelmed, out of control and burdened. Today I was at Hallmark and I came across this card. The picture of the little girl struck me. She's so small compared to the rocks. And I know she thinks that she's holding them up by pushing her little arms up there as hard as she can. Yet, I also know that if she lets go, they will most likely stay exactly where they are. She's not holding up the rocks, she's stressing herself out by not wanting to let go so they don't fall. I realized that this is me. I stress out trying to control things that I have no control of. I push against the rocks until my arms ache, not willing to let go for fear of what will happen. I saw myself in that little girl, but it struck me how silly I am. God's got control. He doesn't need my pudgy little arms pushing against the rocks because all it's doing is stressing me out! In a strange way it was comforting looking at the card and knowing how big God is and how he's got it. What a relief because as much as I think I want it, I really don't. He's much better at it than I am! :)
Friday, August 3, 2007
Against the Rocks
For those of you who don't know, I'm a pessimist. A pretty hard-core one. I remember the day I figured it out. My sister and I were in the kitchen and there was a cup of water on the counter. She asked me if the glass was half-full or half-empty; obviously the cup was half empty. Hence, the pessimism! (Thanks Jen. It didn't really help that you pointed at me and laughed!!) So, I'm cursed with constantly trying to fight the cloud. In all actuality, I like to say that I'm a realist. Not only does it sound better, which I'm all for, I think that it makes more sense. I don't walk around ready to kill myself because the whole world is going to pot, rather, I see the reality in all situations and don't get my hopes up. (It all makes perfect sense to me!) So anyway, lately I've been feeling really bogged down. It's really hard for me to not allow my circle of influence get swallowed by my circle of concern. I get really effected by people, their decisions and wanting to control things. I have a hard time when things are feeling out of control and I frantically try to do whatever I can to hold onto what I feel like I need to have a grasp of. These past couple of weeks have been especially hard for me feeling overwhelmed, out of control and burdened. Today I was at Hallmark and I came across this card. The picture of the little girl struck me. She's so small compared to the rocks. And I know she thinks that she's holding them up by pushing her little arms up there as hard as she can. Yet, I also know that if she lets go, they will most likely stay exactly where they are. She's not holding up the rocks, she's stressing herself out by not wanting to let go so they don't fall. I realized that this is me. I stress out trying to control things that I have no control of. I push against the rocks until my arms ache, not willing to let go for fear of what will happen. I saw myself in that little girl, but it struck me how silly I am. God's got control. He doesn't need my pudgy little arms pushing against the rocks because all it's doing is stressing me out! In a strange way it was comforting looking at the card and knowing how big God is and how he's got it. What a relief because as much as I think I want it, I really don't. He's much better at it than I am! :)
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3 comments:
Thank goodness God is our solid rock and he is in control. When we try and run our life it's like those boulders are falling on us and we are trap and we are trying so hard to not let them fall on us. Amen to a God who saves us and sets us free!
PS...we make a great pair...you have rocks falling on you and I am falling into deep waters...ok maybe just deep puddles...hehehe
Well, my dear sis, I think we are possible more alike than we thought. I can relate. Love ya!
Love that card. Love it. Thanks for your thoughts!
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