Just a broken girl...

"Just a broken girl, in this fallen world, learning everyday how to live like Christ."
Most days I seem to focus on the broken and fallen part. Most days I feel defeated, overwhelmed and lost. I wish that I found the positive in things. I wish that I didn't allow the negatives to permeate me so thoroughly.
I remember thinking to myself a couple of months ago that it had been the only time in my life where I felt as though I really was exactly where I should be in all aspects of my life. I was feeling confident, content and impactful--which lasted approximately two minutes at most. It's interesting to me that as soon as I feel comfortable and settled and okay with life, God does something to stir the pot. It's not a bad thing--actually, it's a good thing. But I hate having my world rocked...
These past few months have been hard. I have cried until my eyes were swollen more times than I care to mention. The picture that I saw as my life became different. I no longer feel confident, content or at all impactful. I just feel broken. I feel the darkness of this fallen world and the evil that comes with it trying desperately to sneak into any cracks that my defeated exterior may have. And it's exhausting.
I wish that I could say that I am intentional about learning to live like Christ in a deeper way every single day. Unfortunately I am not. Thankfully, I praise a God who is solid and steadfast, one who is a pursuer of my heart, one who is my rock and carries me. And right now, I need to be carried for awhile...
Maybe tomorrow I'll remember that it's okay to broken. It's okay to have moments of defeat. It's okay to be overwhelmed with life even though I have it better than 99.9%of the world's population. And just like many all over the world, to the cross I must cling.