Just because...

Love Actually

One of my favorite movies is Love Actually, although I prefer the edited version that is on tv because the real version is not short of inappropriate language and scenes! The title represents the way that love plays out in real life, not in the Hollywood version that most movies create. For those of you who haven't seen it, it shows how the lives of a group of people intertwine, as well as what their lives look like in regards to love. You have the friend who is in love with the girl his best friend just married. The man at the office who cannot say no to the agressive pursual of his secretary, despite the fact that he has a wife and two kids. The wife whose heart breaks when she figures out that her husband bought his secretary the expensive jewelry and her a cd. "I hope it was worth it...," she tells him. The little boy who is "in love" with the girl in his class. The man who walks in to find his wife, who he loved more than anything, sleeping with his brother. The woman who is infatuated with a man she works with, yet when he can't handle the love and dedication she shows to her mentally disabled and very high maitainence brother he leaves. These are just a few examples from the movie.
As I was watching it last night it made me think about my life. Where do I see actual love? I can understand the friend from the movie who loved his friend's wife, because I've had feelings for people that I could never be in a relationship with. I remember what it was like to be a little kid and have your first big crush, feeling as if that was all life consisted of. I have been in the situation where you liked somebody so much, from a distance, and had hopes set as high as they could go. What a disappointment it is when they do not meet your expectations once you see them for more than their outer shell.
I know that I am blessed in my life. This year has been big for me and I have been able to experience love in so many ways. I have always felt extremely loved by my family, but this summer as I was dealing with major anxiety and was unsure about what to do in my relationship my family was so supportive. I called my mom in tears on numerous occasions, repeating over and over things that I had already said a million times, but just needed to process out loud. She never once told me to get a grip or yelled at me for saying the same things over and over. She listened, she offered advice when appropriate and she loved me. Similarly, my older sister talked to me when I was hysterical and shared her similar experiences to help me gain perspective. My family was rational and stable while I was on the speedy train to Crazyville, riding in first class. That is love actually.
Another way that I have been blessed is with Jered. I realize that I like things a certain way and I see life as pretty black and white. Jered has helped me to see the other side of things. He has shown me that life does not go as we want all the time. He has shown me that nobody is perfect. With him I see how you have to work at love, but what a reward it is. I see that it's ok to argue, you just have to work it out. With my anxiety he has been patient, understanding and supportive even though he doesn't get it. That is love actually.
I see love through my nephews, niece and Claudia (the girl I nanny). They love me no matter what. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing. It has nothing to do with my accomplishments in life. They don't care what kind of car I drive or house I live in. They love me for me, plain and simple. And I love them for them. I would do anything for them. The more time I spend with Claudia the more I can't get enough of her. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday are my favorite days of the week because I get to see Jake and Ty. I want my sister to send me pictures of Rebekah all the time so I can see her cute face (one day you'll be close!). Despite how much their sin nature comes out--and boy, it does--I will love them. And no matter how much I discipline them, they will love me. That is love actually.
Over the past few months I have seen God in a different way. I have seen myself in a different way, which I think is why I have seen God in a different way. I am weak. I am broken...big time. I sin. I get frustrated faster than I should, especially when I drive. I want things to go my way, all the time. I am a control freak. I live a life that I never thought would be mine, and I'm not always happy about it. I can be really judgemental. I don't have a lot of mercy. Yet God loves me. He loves me more than I could ask or imagine. He never gives up on me, no matter what. He loves me so much that he decided to come down to earth in the most helpless way, as a baby, solely to live a life that would ultimately end in the most horrific death. Just to save a broken and rebellious soul like mine. To me, that is love actually.

Dwigt and Monkey

Halloween club. Jered and I. Dwight and Angela from The Office. Enough said.

Seriously, so old...

Last night, which happened to be a Friday, I was lying in bed and was rudely awoken by my neighbors down the stree BLARING their music. Like I'm pretty sure that they set up the speakers underneath my window. Well, at least it sounded like it. My first thought was that Jered was in the next room listening to music so obnoxiously loud that he would go deaf at the age of 25 and I was seriously ready to give him the business (he was actually downstairs on the computer so he's innocent of all charges). Once I realized that it was actually coming from outside I got way beyond irritated and was about two seconds away from calling the cops and being "that" neighbor. I mean really. Hello--don't you realize that people are trying to sleep??!! I looked at my phone to see what time it was and realized that it was 9:55. On a Friday night. And I was not only already in bed, but I was asleep. Pathetic. I decided to give them a little slack and rolled back over and went back to sleep. I thought that maybe it was just from the long week and all of that. Not so much. Tonight Jered and I were hanging out with Ryan and Ashley and one of our Young Life kids. He happened to tell us how old he thought we were and said that he thought Jered and I were "somewhere in our thirties." EXCUSE ME!! I am NOT somewhere in my 30's. But then I feel asleep in the chair at 9:50 with the lights on and the tv blaring the Duck game and proved his point. Perfect.

"He who does not weep, does not see."

I don't normally plug movies, but I have to rave about this one for a minute. As many of you know in 2005 I went to Africa and had the most amazing trip. My heart has always been very sensitive to overseas missions and after my trip to Sierra Leone, it became even more sensitive to not only that country, but to Africa as a whole. A few months ago I heard of a documentary called "God Grew Tired Of Us" that is about the lost boys of Sudan. It was an AMAZING movie. I actually just checked it out at the library, but I would have spent money on it too. It was a very poignant story following the lives of three particular individuals as they struggle through life in a refugee camp for over ten years and are then transitioned to life in the states, all the while missing 'home' and worrying about what has come to those they love. It was a very moving story, one that made me laugh and cry (obviously!). I urge you to check it out--you won't be sorry!

So You Think You Can Dance

This last Sunday Stacy and I went to see So You Think You Can Dance live. We had a lot of fun watching our favorite routines and getting in on the action. I wasn't the pre-teen that I had turned into when I went to see American Idol live last summer, but it was great nonetheless. If we would have had closer seats who knows what would have happened!! Stacy posted a bunch of pictures of the night on her blog that you can check out, but I wanted to post a couple of videos of my favorite performances. The first was a routine done by Tabitha and Napoleon and the second was the top 16 group routine done by Mia Michaels, who is extremely eccentric and extremely extraordinary. Enjoy!

Oprah's Religion

I was at our Young Life Bible study tonight and I was chatting with a couple of girls afterwards. We somehow ended up on the topic of different religions and one of the girls asked me if I had heard anything about Oprah and how she's basically started her own religion and has all of these followers (like 2 million). I have always liked Oprah for the most part and was a little surprised when I heard this, but I went home and googled it and was a little shocked at what I saw. She is very much into New Age and Spirituality and is leading millions of people astray with her words. I encourage you all to take a look at this. It's amazing to me what influence one person can have over so many...

I'm an auntie...AGAIN!! :)

My little namesake, Rebekah Jane Lillie, was born August 26, 2008 at 3:59am weighing 8lbs, 15oz and measuring in at 21 3/4 inches with lots of black hair. Both my sister Jane and baby Rebekah are doing great, although very tired!! I can't wait to go in a few weeks and see the little love bug in person...She's the sweetest! I "talked" to her today on the phone, and she was very articulate, cooing at me and making little noises. Maybe I do believe in love at first sight--or at first hear anyway! Curtis sent me this picture that he took on his phone and I must say that she is the cutest little chub on the planet! I'll post more pictures when I can.

Playdate

Last week Stacy and Piper and Kasey and Isaiah came over to Claudia's house and we all walked down to the park. I love that we can do this. It's so nice to be able to see my friends and have the kids all hang out, all while I'm at work! Gotta love it!

Claudia

Claudia and Piper playing with sticks and pinecones...oh the obsession!

The three of them LOVED the teeter-toter!

Isaiah and Claudia

Isaiah and Claudia holding hands...So cute! I figure, hey, start 'em off young!!

Happy Birthday To Jered!!

Yesterday was Jered's birthday, and although we were exhausted from our long week at camp, we went out with our super good friends Ryan and Ashley last night to celebrate. Jered and I got dinner at a little mexican restaurant and then the four of us went out to Concordia Ale House to have drinks and play pool. We had a really great time! I'm so lucky to have Jered and to have good friends to be able to do ministry and celebrate life with. I'm very blessed!!

The two of us

Our "We just won four games of pool" faces

I'm not sure what he was laughing at, but I LOVE this picture of him!

Jered's "It's my birthday" face

Me and Ashley

This is the way that I play pool-Jered points to where I need to aim....

...I bust out the one-eyed pirate face to get it right...

...and then I laugh at the fact that it actually worked! :)

Ash and Ryan--so cute!

Wildhorse Canyon-The Happiest Place on Earth

This last week I, along with five other leaders, took 35 students from Young Life to Wildhorse Canyon for summer camp. All year long we've been pumping up camp, telling students that it will be the best week of their lives. I had high expectations for the week, knowing that God was going to do some really cool things. At the same time, it never crossed my mind that this could be one of the best weeks of my life. I've had the fortunate experience to travel a lot and have been on some AMAZING mission trips. I never really viewed this week as a mission trip; until we went that is. This week was defintely in my top five best weeks of all time. Almost all of our kids come from unstable homes, many not living with two parents, if any at all. They have been taught that they can't trust people because nobody has ever been there for them. They have been through things in their short lives that I wish nobody ever had to experience. Many came in with their defenses up, their protective wall of "toughness" up and on guard at all times. We were fortunate enough to have some sort of a relationship with most of the kids, so the walls that they had built were already lowered to an extent, although still definitely present. Young Life is very intentional about the activities that they plan, when we do certain things, the way that we eat, the speakers that they bring in and the volunteers that they have. They want the kids to experience Jesus all day and night, from every aspect. The first night all of our kids were blown away that we all sat at tables of eight together and were served food by volunteers their own age. Many of them have never had a family-style dinner. I was able to see the kids blossom throughout the week, open up more and more and begin to let their walls drop. By the end of the week we were able to see eight out of 16 boys start a relationship with Christ, seven out of 14 girls start a relationship with Christ, many re-dedicate their lives and each one change their mind about Jesus in one way or another. All of those who had done this camp before said that it was by far the best week they had ever had at Wildhorse. We asked God for a miracle and he came through in a big way! Thank you SO much to all who prayed. This wouldn't have been possible without all of your prayers!!
Ps. To those who care, I survived the mountain bikes (with only one fall...although it was into the middle of a ridiculous bush that thought both of my legs would be a good snack), the ropes course (in the heat of the day and I thought that I would die from heat exhaustion and the fact that I was tight-rope walking a million feet off of the ground), the ridge runners (where I got lapped twice...whatever) and the swing. It was stretching and I was out of my comfort zone A LOT, but I loved it!!

Oh how I love the beach!

This last weekend my family had their annual trip to the beach. It was a really fun, relaxing, WINDY time! :) And thanks to Jake and Ty for keeping me thoroughly entertained. And I quote Ty, "Can I hit you Bec?" "Um, no." "Well, can I hit that guy?" (as he points in our like 80th cousin four times removed from France's face) "Um, that guy has a name and no you can't hit him." "Oh." Really? What a funny kid! You can read my sister-in-law's blog for more funny things about the boys, because let's be honest, they do and say funny things about every five seconds.

My cousin Kim's little twins Jackson and Olivia.

Ty on the beach

Jake

Jered (who will be mad at me for putting this picture up because I guarantee that he thinks it's stupid, but I like it:) So there.)

My brother and his two boys